and anytime, i don't know, what to do...

one thing after another...
that is how this month has gone.

it had seriously left me wondering each night...
"OK God, what are you throwing at me tomorrow???"

ups and downs,
twists and turns.
happy and sad,
laughs and tears
horrible and not so bads....

every moment filled.
that's all i can say.

and then in a split second i hit a wall running 100 miles an hour.
brought back to the simple and thankful with the unwavering voice of the sweetest 4 year old girl in all the world.

"i cast all my cares upon you,
i lay all of my burdens down at your feet.
and anytime i don't know what to do...
i will cast all my cares upon you."


you see...
i had carried every psalty cassette tape i ever had from my childhood,
into my adulthood,
straight on into my marriedhood,
and pulled the box out once i entered motherhood.

but, once i sold my old car that had both a cassette and cd player. i couldn't listen to them any longer with my children...
which really made me sad. but about a month ago, my amazing brian surprised me!
he brought home all of my precious childhood praise and worship cassettes in one hand and cds in the other.
he had them all burned onto cds for me!
(chuck that on the list of why i adore him so)


and yesterday,
when the wares and tares of the month seemed to be at their worst.
when i felt i was at my lowest, and everything was caving in around me.
i heard my beautiful alivia singing to one of her babies in her room.

and in a blink of an eye. i looked up,
whipped the tears from my eyes.

and casted all my cares upon Him.

thank you jesus for using something so innocent to remind me that you are still there...
walking steady right beside me,
even in my craziest of months. :)

our summer birthday babies...

when i got home last night and flipped through the amazing works of krystle sommers, i got to this picture...
stopped and stared.

i looked over at my mr. emrich, and said...
"this is exactly us!"

i have always found "my" picture within every shoot we do with krystle where she captures one of our children.
the one i study over and over...
and, for the first time. our whole family was captured in one shot.

brian... our leader, focused and always smiling.
nataley... being sweet and silly, going with the flow.
levi... clowning around, trying to bring humor to our bunch.
alivia... not paying attention to what is going on.
and me... taking in every minute of their childhood, going against what's comfortable to me, and joining in on the fun.

i think it's my most favorite picture of our family of all time!
it captured my heart!
thanks krystle!

God ALWAYS has a purpose...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6


God always has a purpose.

this is a sentence i know i have seen time and time again in my life before.
but sitting in church on sunday morning, it really hit me...
God ALWAYS has a purpose.


as i've gotten older, i have come to realize just how amazing his purpose is.
he always hears my prayers, but doesn't always answer them the way i think He will.

i know there have been so many times in my life i have been thankful that He didn't give me what i thought i needed at the moment, after seeing He had something greater planned for me down the road.


with that being said,
at this point (and i can't say for certain)...
but, i am pretty sure God is having "a bigger plan" in the works.

when we first entered levi at tabernacle,
we truly thought this was God's plan.
and when i started my mary kay business,
it seemed even more clear that He provided the way to pay for the tab for all of our children.

so, i was a bit confused when the talk of homeschool kept coming around.
because...
in my mind, His purpose had already shown to light.

in fact, i knew it had...
so, i didn't know why in my private thoughts, it would randomly pop into my head.
yet still in my uncertainty, i wore a disguise and would quickly bypass the "talk" of homeschool any time anyone brought it up.

and then one day on a hour long car ride...
i asked the question...
the one that was really in the back of my head for a couple years at least.

"can you tell me about this homeschool thing, orenda?"

i think i truly thought she would shed some light on the topic, and that it would finally reassure in my head
"the plan of tabernacle".

but, once again to my amazement.
the opposite of what i thought was going to happen happened.

every question and fear of what i had been hesitant about was answered without my even asking.
and by the end of the drive home,
i honestly think my mind was made up.

i came home, walked in the door...
looked into brian's eyes, and once again, told him my heart.
on the surface, i really thought he would laugh at the idea.
but i think i knew before a word was ever even spoken,
just what his desire was.

and within 10 minutes, we realized we were on the same page.
homeschool...
was a good choice for our family, our goals, and our life.


a part of me is excited, i can't deny that.
excited to see what God has in store with this opportunity.
and to see how this experience draws us closer as a family, and closer to Him.

yet, even as i write this the thought of it kinda makes my stomach hurt.
i am full of fear, not really knowing fully what to expect.
but, as of today...
the choice is made up. and our children will be homeschooled through "providence community school"
home 3 days a week, school 2 days a week.

and in the back of my head i know,
i have always drawn closer to God through my fears,
and as always, i rest assure in knowing...
He ALWAYS has a purpose!

a prayer for my baby girl...

nataley,
a sweeter girl i could never ask for.
you truly have completed this family, with the most perfect touch.

of all of my children you are the most like "me" both inside and out.
small and dainty at first glance,
but full of strength!

you fear nothing and will try anything...
and your good at everything you try.

your tough...
you hardly ever cry when you get hurt,
but rather, quickly look for the solution to make it better.

your a perfect touch of girl...
you love make-up, and heals,
and you never turn down the chance to dance with daddy.

loyal to your family...
you drop whatever your into to give out free kisses.
and shy away from smiling strangers.

sweeter then sweet, and one tough cookie!
happy 2nd birthday my nataley faye!!!!!!

Lord,
so blessed i am to mother this sweet little girl,
who makes me smile at just one glance.

I pray that you bless her life, and that she will be used in a mighty way.
i pray that she remains strong and open minded to challenges that may one day cross her paths.
i pray that she keeps her "i can DO" personality, and leads when other fear it can't be done.

i pray she clings to truth always, even when it seems hard to do.
i pray she uses her strengths to glorify you, and that she learns quick from mistakes she will make.

i pray for a heart of compassion and love within her.
and that your will for her life will be done.

my heart can't thank you enough for the joy you gave me,
when you gave me my sweet nataley faye!

a new kinda 4th...

i am a girl of traditions...
anyone who knows me even a little bit, could never deny that fact.

so, when the fourth rolled around...
i was slightly bummed that both brian and i decided to break away from our almost 10 year tradition of doing our own fireworks in the restaurant parking lot. :(

we jointly decided the night before that we have two children deathly afraid of loud sounds...
and fireworks, unfortunately, fall right into the category of "too loud". :(

we started the day out the same...
a birthday celebration for my dad.
which gave my heart a tiny bit of comfort.

but, driving towards home at the end of the night,
i was rather sad to think i wouldn't even see one firework on the fourth.

low and behold, my husband, being the brilliant brian that he is...
pulled into a mcdonalds, got us ice cream cones and told us to look up...

and to our amazement, we saw a light show in the ski, far enough away from the "too loud" that goes with it.

who knew that eating micky d's soft serve cones on top of the mini van roof,
watching rockets light up the ski could be so much fun?

and just like that, we started a new 4th of july emrich tradition!