sleep depravation....

i fear my blogging has become nothing more then a means for my whining. all i do is complain anymore. and i apologize for that, and i will try to get better... in the mean time, here i go once more.

last night was the worse night of sleep since bringing home our third child! i say since bringing home nataley because it wasn't the worst night of our life, that record is still held by that (and i still remember, thats how bad it was) thursday night about a year and a half ago. both levi and livia were sick, and between brian and i we managed to get about 20 minuets of sleep and both had places we needed to be bright and early. we had spent the night driving around the streets of sarasota. it's funny how time changes things.... that horrible night so long ago remains a memorable night brian and i shared together. hehe, although, i do believe i would have traded it to one of the many nights brian and i spent simply talking in the yoder's parking lot till all hours of the night before we got married.
it all started out the same as any other night. all three kids asleep by 9pm, quiet, and angel like. i was finishing up a silly game i was playing online and had just decided to call it a night. i took a shower, popped in the first season of greys (i am attempting to watch it over again so that i can kick eveyones butt with the game). all was still till just after midnight, i had dosed off about a half an hour earlier. and then out of nowhere i heard one of those horrible screams come from the girls room.... the kind you know means something is really, really wrong. brian and i both jumped up and ran over to alivias bedside. the screaming did not end till nearly 6 in the morning. since that beastly night nearly two years ago brian and i have worked out a "better" (for him anyway) system. i no longer work, and he has to put in long days so he gets to sleep while i deal with whatever it is i need to deal with. so that the record stands correct, i know how emotions are sometimes misunderstood in writing... our system works for us, i am not complaining about it. if i thought i needed brians help on nights like these he would be right there for me in a heartbeat. i prefer it this way.
so, here is how my night went....
alivia started screaming, after we saw that it was more then likely a bad dream, brian went back to bed while i tried to calm her down. i stayed in her room for about an hour while she cried to the point that she made herself puke in her bed. i changed the sheets and threw the old ones in the wash. gave her a bath, which finally started to calm her down. read her a story, and put her back to bed. all was quiet while i walked back over to my nice comfy bed. before i could even lay my head on the pillow i heard nataley stairing (which is very not like nataley) i think all the early commotion never let her get into a sound sleep. i laid down in hopes that maybe she would find that thumb she loves so much. after about 15 minuets of her fussing, i decided she was going to need some action, i didn't want her to keep alivia up while she was still trying to fall back to sleep herself, so i brought her out into the family room with me. after nearly two hours, and several attempts to lay her back down levi walked out of his room with a tired look on his face and said "mom mom, what are you doing?" i told him it was the middle of the night and that he needed to go back to sleep, to which he immediately started to cry himself. his crying then woke alivia (who is the light sleeper) up again. so there we were, the four of us.... just like every other day, only at 5 in the morning! at that point i was seriously ready to cry. i gave in.... fed nataley, put her back to bed. and turned on a movie for levi and alivia while i slept what little sleep i got on the couch. brian came out at 7 to tell me that the alarm was going off to get the kids ready for school. i did a bad mom thing and decided that i just couldn't do it, i was still rather emotional from the night . although looking back on it now this afternoon, when i am really ready to rip my hear right out. i should have just taken them.... they wake me up, i should wake them up..... right?