insight...

unfortunately, today was not much better then last night for me. seriously, as soon as i finish writing this i am going to bed in hopes that i will get a full nights rest, and that i will feel refreshed tomorrow. although, it doesn't appear as though that is going to happen. levi has already come out of his room three times for rather random things.... he hurt his head, he needs his shoe put away, did i charge his cowboy truck?....
anyway.
i started a new devotional book at the beginning of the year. rather then doing it in the morning, like most normal people do. i do it right after i get the kids to bed. i am so not a morning person and literally don't get out of bed one second before need be.
the scripture verse for today was definitely one that i needed to hear, and after reading it the first thought that came to mind was that perhaps i should start doing them in the morning. i think after reading it i would have felt a whole lot better about my day and how it went today.

Romans 8:35-37
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
As it is written:
"for Your sake we are killed all day long: we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter."
Yet in all these things we are more then conquerors through Him who loved us."

how can i sit and write what this means to me....
this life i am living is so incredibly hard. becoming a mother was the best thing i have ever done! but with this most wonderful gift, i have hit more rocky roads then what seems manageable at times. brian and i often talk about the heartache i face with doing a lot of the parenting by myself. throughout the week brian usually isn't home. it's the kids and me from the moment they wake up to the moment they fall asleep. it makes for rather long, frustrating, and often times lonely days. not only for now but looking at the "big picture" as a whole.... taking the time to realize that my children learn from ME. what a scary thought, and an awesome responsibility!
i think the business of life often times allows me to forget that we aren't just doing this on our own. god is right there! he sees me, and knows exactly what it is i'm thinking and feeling. he knows my concerns, my strengths, and my weaknesses. he watches me on my good days, and my bad one too. always there through good decisions and even when i make wrong decisions, he stays right there beside me. he knows where i am at, and he won't ever leave me, and he won't ever give me something that i can not conquer through him. so, while i seem to be facing somewhat of a rough patch.....
i know that god is still there..... and it is in just knowing that, i can once again say, i shall indeed trudge on!


besides, who wouldn't find a way to keep trudging on with three beautiful faces like this smiling back up at them!